Children with Autism need Rewards and Consequences

           First off let me remind my readers I am a parent of a child with Autism. That being said, why do some parents of children with Autism think their child does not need consequences? I hear over and over that so and so is autistic that's why they act that way. No, your child is misbehaving as any child could do,and they need to know there is consequences for their behaviors.

           Having a rewards and consequence system in place is crucial for any child. This includes children on the Autism spectrum. If there are no consequences for their behavior the child will continue to learn that they can do whatever they want and nothing will come of it. How is this preparing them for the real world. If they break a law, there will be consequences.

          All children need to learn there is always an outcome for everything they do in life. Some good and some not so good. The choice is up to them by their actions. Using a diagnosis of Autism to answer for all of their bad behaviors is setting them up for failure later in life. Not to mention, it's going to make your life as a parent, difficult.

         I have seen children with Autism spit, yell, hit, and defy their parents and nothing is done. If anyone questions the behavior the answer is "oh, their medication is messed up", or "they have Autism, they can't help it." Some behaviors I know cannot be helped. But just being defiant and disrespectful are not those behaviors.

          All children can learn respect. They can learn about manners. They must learn that the answer is not always yes. Having a reward and consequence system in place will make your life, your child's life, and everyone's life that will deal with your child in the future, much more enjoyable.

            In the coming days I will discuss some different types of reward and consequence systems you can try. Letting your child get away with their bad behaviors is one of the reasons children on the Autism spectrum get judged unfairly when they do have a behavior that they cannot help.

Planning a vacation when your child has Autism

     Schedules are so important to children on the Autism spectrum. So much so that you may consider not going on vacation. With the right amount of planning you don't have to put the family vacation on hold. It can be a vacation for all to enjoy.

    We didn't go on vacation too often because we didn't know how my daughter would react. She has Autism and ADHD, so schedules are a must in our life. She likes things just so in her room and has a routine she must keep before bed including what channel the TV is on. We didn't think a vacation would work for us.

     We were asked to go to the happiest place on earth a few years ago with family. How could we say no to Disney? They were renting a big vacation home for all of us to stay. My daughter would be able to bring her garbage bag full of stuffed friends. She could have TV on the channel she was used to watching. There was enough space for her to unwind if needed.

     Sensory issues are a common factor with children on the spectrum. My daughter doesn't like loud sounds. She wears earplugs or headphones whenever we know it will be noisy. We were afraid that Disney would be way too much for her to handle. We packed earplugs in all of our bags and kept a few in the car to be safe.

     I read all I could before we went from other parents of autistic children who had visited Disney before. I planned places we could go if she needed a break. We knew we could go back to the house for downtime. I tried to have her prepared for everything we could foresee happening.

    She likes to wander away from us and I was scared to death she would get lost, so I kept giving her lessons and reminders about stranger danger and how important it was to stay with us. So we packed up the car with her bags of stuffed animals an headed to the most wonderful place on earth.

    I have to say the trip went beyond my expectations. My daughter did great at the parks and wasn't overloaded sensory wise. She used her earplugs when she needed them and we went back to the rental house for some downtime each afternoon.

    The staff at Disney was amazing. They all went above and beyond to help. The characters were lots of fun. Stitch stole my daughter's stuffed animal and ate it.

He then pretended to upchuck the animal. My daughter wasn't quite sure what to think.

 Lilo made him stand in time out.

          We had such an amazing trip we made a return a few years later. We now are planning our next trip to Disney. It really is a magical place and children with Autism can have a terrific time too with some planning.

            Vacationing with your autistic child can be done. You just have to consider your families needs and make the plans accordingly.Make plans on what to do should your child need a break during the trip. Know the parks policies on helping children with Autism if visiting a theme park.

        Make sure to take a few items from home that help your child to feel safer and calmer. They can be a huge help when you are in unfamiliar territory. On our first trip my daughter took two big bags full of her stuffed friends. On the next trip she took only one Walmart bag full. This was a major accomplishment in our house.

      Don't skip your family vacation. Take some extra time to plan and go from there. You never know, you may all have the time of your life.

Gift giving advice for children with Autism

Children on the Autism spectrum can be challenging to buy for if you ask friends and relatives of the child. If you ask the parents, the answer is simple. Buy them what they are interested in. That's right, no big secret, just buy them what they like. Children with Autism usually have limited interests. They may be focused on Legos, cars, stuffed animals, or even electricity. They usually only have one major focus at a time. If you find out what they like you will have  a much easier time buying them presents.

My daughter has gone through various interests in her thirteen years but a constant has been stuffed animals. Even though we are told by others that she is too old for them, she continues to love her plush friends. So when someone asks what to buy for her we have tried coming up with new ideas in the past, but she was never as truly happy as she is when she gets a new stuffed animal.

It took us awhile to learn that we shouldn't listen to others and just get her what she likes. We would waste hundreds of dollars on whatever toy was the big thing and she may look at it for a few minutes and then in the corner it would go. She has had other short lived interests like Littlest Pet Shop. We got her all the houses and cute little animal figurines only to find them being friends for her stuffed animals. These too, are now in the closet collecting dust.

Now, we go by what she asks for and nothing more. We have finally realized there is no sense in wasting money on things she will never play with. If she shows some new interest we buy one or two of the item and see if it goes any further. We don't listen to people and their opinions on what we should be buying for a child her age. After all, she is not any regular child. She is an Autism superstar.

So if you are trying to by a present for a child with Autism, take it from a mother, buy them what they like. Whether you don't agree, or you think it isn't age appropriate, remember you want that child to enjoy their present, right?